Fear

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

For many years I lived in a constant state of fear.  I was afraid of being alone, of people rejecting me, of failure, fearful of not living up to God, and much more.  I never thought about fear and what it was doing to me and how it was impacting the decisions I was making in my life.  I made decisions out of fear.  I would way out my fears and then make my decisions.  I look back on those times and wonder how things would have been different had I been willing to trust God.  I heard it put today that fear is just satans way of taking our wonderful imaginations that our Creator God gave us and twisting it to manipulate us.  It is so true.  Just think about today what decisions have you made that were out of fear.  Did you not do something that you should have out of fear.  Or maybe, you are and continue to do something you should not do out of fear. Think about it.  God has shown you things in your life right now, just as he is showing me areas that I need to surrender.  Fear is sinful!  It separates us from God.  It gives satan the ability to control our lives.  God can be trusted! It is in His power that we can overcome whatever comes our way.  It is His love for us that drives the fear away.  When we are surrendered to Him whatever happens we need not fear for again we can trust Him.  We often have fear in our lives because we are not surrendered to our Father.  We are living and trusting our own ways.  Peter started walking out across the water, but when he took his eyes off of Jesus the fears that surrounded him caused him to start sinking. He started trusting in himself and not on Jesus.  Our Lord God has to be our focus if we are ever going to be able to overcome fear.  We can not half way focus our lives on Him.  We have to every second focus on direct eye contact with Jesus.  How sad is it to think of living your entire life, looking back and realizing that you limited God in your life because you were just scared. Is it not wonderful to know that He can deliver us from fear if only we surrender ourselves to Him. 
I will not sit here and say that I am not ever afraid.  I still am, everyday, but it is how I respond to the fear that has changed today.  When fear asails me my first inclination now is to pray for repentence if the fear is due to my rebellion.  If it is fear of the unknown it is to pray for God to fill me with the peace that comes from His presence.  The peace that comes from knowing that no matter what comes He is there.  He will handle it.  God calls it, "a sound mind". 

New Dog

What is he thinking!  I am referring to my eldest son who just showed up at my house with a dog!  Now, before any  animal rights people show up at my door, I will say that I like dogs, I really do.  I just don't want any.  I already have one dog that we have had for 12 years.  I like him a lot.  He don't eat garbage or tear up stuff.  He is old and easy, but this new creature that my wayward son brought home is 7 months old.  Do you realize what chaos a young dog can create.  We do not need another dog.  We have bad history in the dog area around here.  It has been pretty bad.  We had one that always relieved itself when we had company, another that barked until the neighbor came down cussed me out, made my sitter cry and threatened to have me reported to the sheriffs office.  My husband and son would chase that dog through the woods in the middle of the night just to get it to shut up.  It was a nightmare and I was pregnant at the time.  It keeps going, another had a seizure disorder and the last one my husband ran over, with our big van, as we were on our way to church.  It was tragic. The kids were all screaming while the dog lay jerking in the highway. It lived by the way, and then died later for what, not I'm not sure.  If  the new dog was smart it would high tail it out of here real fast.  The odds are against him.  His name is Rufus and a friend of my sons gave it to him.  I told Jonathan that if Rufus was not a Dufus the guy would have kept him.  Who gives away a smart dog? Exactly what I thought too, nobody!  Time will tell, given that Jonathan goes away to college in Florida in the fall I hope Rufus don't prove me right.  My son wanted me to add that it is a full blooded, with papers, trained Mountain Cur and to give him a break.  WHATEVER!  He says he deserves it given his sad dog experiences.  Sigh.......

School Tomorrow

I start my homeschooling back tomorrow.  It is this area where I really am well-intentioned.  I believe that I have tried just about everything out there in the last 16 years.  With that said, I have to say that it truly is a leap of faith every year.  I know how inept I am and God continues to show me how much I need Him.  You would think that I would have it all figured out by now, but every child is different.  About the time I start to think I've got it, it all falls apart.  I will say that God continues to build my faith in Him throughout this adventure.  As hard as it is, and as overwhelmed I can feel at times, I have a peace that I am doing what I have been called to do.  I have spoke on grace before, well this is where God really shows up and pours out His grace on my children and myself.  I have been called for such a time as this, for His purpose, and He is faithful to complete it in me.  I hold tight to His promises and trust His word for direction.  --If you could not tell, I am giving myself a pep talk before tomorrow.  I pray for a good day, but truth be know it probably will not be after being out of school for 2 weeks.  It is reality!  I need to acknowledge that right now and take what I can get out of tomorrow.  I think I can, I think I can.  I need to laugh a lot tomorrow.... a whole lot!

Funny

The world according to Eli. (He is 2)
Watch me play my target (guitar), and where's my chip (pick).  Mama help me I got not (snot). I woo hoo Mama! (love you)
It's those things you forget when they get older. Just precious!

Referencing Laughter

By the way, this is one of those times when I need to read what I wrote about laughing.  It truly is where sanity lies!
Hey, I wonder if some laughter would help my sick family!

Grace

I started to write this post and then hit the wrong button and erased the whole thing. Now, I took that and decided that God must have a different thing He wants me to post....This day or should I say week has been a very trying one.  The children have been sick, my husband (who is never sick) is sick and my week of relaxation before school starts back has been significantly altered not to mention the break my children and husband were expecting.  It is at this point that I realize how God is so overwhelmingly gracious to me.  It is through His grace that we have the ability to take things as they come and feel a sence of peace that no matter what, it will all be alright.  It really is alright.  I didn't say easy, but alright.  He gives grace as it is needed.  Praise God that we can rest in that comfort. Comfort in the arms of Him, big and strong, caring for us as if a child. His grace is sufficient!

Quiet Rest

I have come to really enjoy quiet.  When everyone is down for the night and sleeping soundly.  I can actually hear myself think. I am thankful tonight for God's love for me and my family.  I am thankful to know that He is always in control of my life and will see me through whatever comes my way.  What a blessing to know that we can go before our Lord and just ask Him to be with us today and He will.  What a blessing to know that we can rest our head in peace because we know that He is with us. Time for rest so I will be ready for tomorrow.